So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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