Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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