i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
