Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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