i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Randomize
