I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
