Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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