The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
