ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
