Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
