How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So. Much. Porn.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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