i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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