So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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