I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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