either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
