I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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