Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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