hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
