You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
