Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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