Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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