thus making me awesome and them whores
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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