he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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