forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
