Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
