Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
