At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
