Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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