Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
