I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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