I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We are two peas in an std pod
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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