i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
