I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
