More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
