if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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