I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
