Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
