That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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