i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
