I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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