is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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