So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
