Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
