I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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