And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
