New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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