Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
