shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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