he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
