Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
