He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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